There isn’t a whole lot redeeming about mental illness. That being said I’ve made it my mission the last couple of weeks to try to figure out some good/neutral things that my mental illness allows me.
- The necessity to question everything.
- This is a skill some people have to spend years cultivating, and even then I would doubt they live with as much skepticism/cynicism as I Need to just to get through the day.
- Thousands of hours of therapy.
- I’m no longer afraid of the mental health complex, because I’ve been through it enough times that it can’t really surprise me anymore.
- The inhibition to cry in public.
- There was a time where walking through the grocery store would put me in tears. Which, frankly, is preferable to Not Crying Ever (which is how I spent over a decade). After you’ve had a grocery clerk comment on your sadness in public there’s not a lot that seems legitimately embarrassing anymore.
- Perfectionism (or rather the occasional lack thereof).
- I’m definitely a perfectionist. It takes me a long time to get things to where I’ll be happy with them. Generally speaking, though, whatever level of perfectionism I have helps me to succeed.
- The ability to vocalize exactly what it is I think I need at any given time.
- This sounds like something a lot of people do, but trust me when I say that it’s not. And even for myself it was a skill hard earned. Never will I say that I Know What I Need, but even being able to just express my own thoughts in a semi-coherent fashion is pretty damn good in my books.
As a bonus point–since not everything can be spinned posi–please know the absolute shittiest thing to come of understanding my PTSD:
- Much like a news reporter describing a train derailment I can explain, with quite a bit of detail, why and how I do things. That being said, I often find myself at a loss as to how to prevent myself from doing negative things, or to increase the likelihood I’ll do positive things. Being able to explain myself is a very useful skill. Feeling helpless to do anything about the things which I’m able to explain sucks ass.